Meditation: Tasting the Sweet Nectar

I learned to meditate when I was 12, from a disciple of the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. My motives were not pure. I wanted to experience something mystical, anything to take me out of my bodily experience and rocket me into another dimension. Existing in bodily form had never been comfortable, but nearing 13, my body curving and getting denser felt almost excrutiatingly unbearable. He taught me to meditate on the mantra AUM, the sound said in the Yoga Sutras to lead to the ultimate realization of the Self because it represents nothing less than the essence of the Universe, the Source of all Being. All I recall are his large hands doing something resembling a blessing, his mala beads, and the basic instruction to repeat the mantra in my head over and over while seated in a semi-lotus position. Nothing more extraordinary than that.

Without further instruction, I delved in, learning pranayama from books, and experienced the most profound mystical experience of my life -- until earlier this month. Sidetracked by the world of illusion, I forgot the feeling of Oneness, the loss of the "I" identity, the merging with nature I experienced sitting under a guava tree in my backyard when I "saw" God in every leaf, a shining light flowing in the leaf's veins as if breathing, the entire universe present in it, while both the leaf and the universe were also present in me. The sense of bliss (with a capital B) I felt was a nectar I wanted to hold onto, but the "I" voice called back, reminding me that I could not stay out in the garden (of Eden) forever. So I returned inside, to the TV blaring a Mexican telenovela and my abuelita asking me if I wanted a snack.

I did not have a teacher to help me sort out the experience, or to develop a consistent and disciplined practice. The bliss I experienced (call it the pearl of great price, the kingdom of God, or the nectar of devotion) called me, but I did not know how to return to it. After 13 years of digression, I returned to the quest for spiritual enlightenment, searching for (but not finding) a teacher I could follow and respect.

I was never one to fall for men with long beards in white robes who expected admiration. I followed my inner guru, and finally, my inner guru led me to the right teacher(s). And finally, I tasted, once again, the sweet nectar that resides deep in all of our hearts. Hari Om Namo Narayana, Om Namo Narayana. May we never give up on the spiritual quest, and may we always be vigilant and waiting for the teacher to arrive. May we be silent and "hear" the mantra that speaks to our soul.

Use Your Pen, Heal Your Pain Workshop

Mindful Writing to Balance Emotions and Increase Creativity at The Counseling Group
Saturdays, 2:00 – 3:30 p.m. - once a month
Dates: Starting January 26, 2013

Expressing our deepest thoughts and feelings on paper has been shown by research studies to have deeply beneficial effects on emotional and physical wellbeing. Mindfulness for emotional regulation and stress reduction has an even greater empirical support. Combining both, in the tradition of Natalie Goldberg (author of Writing Down the Bones), provides a safe container for processing painful experiences as well as engendering creativity and intuition. Experience the power of the written and spoken word to heal. The group is facilitated by a psychotherapist, mindfulness practitioner, creative writer and former journalist. Call The Counseling Group at 305-857-0050 to register for this workshop.

Embodying Your Intuition: Creative Self-Care for Professional Helpers in and out of Sessions

Research has shown that helping professionals often suffer from burnout and stress, yet barely a quarter of them practice the self-care they teach their clients (take the self-care assessment here). One of the reasons people don't engage in wellness activities, is that many of those traditionally recommended take time (e.g. exercise, yoga, meditation, journaling, hobbies, volunteering, going out with friends). Then stress-reduction activities become stressors, cancelling out any benefits. And yet, there are intrinsic mechanisms for self-regulation within us that, with the right understanding, and given the focus of our mindful awareness, we can access moment-by-moment, at no cost, and for significant stress-reduction benefits. I have created an all-day retreat/workshop for psychotherapists, bodyworkers, healers and caregivers who want to learn skills to access their somatic intelligence and creative self-regulation capacity. When we are operating from a space of coherence (mind, heart, breath oscillating in rhythm), our consciousness is open to accessing greater intuition. Come and learn some creative ways in which you can incorporate stress reduction and balance throughout your day without having to add more to your “to do” list and making self-care another stressor. The practices we will explore are grounded in an understanding of neurophysiological processes within an embodied mindfulness framework. The inaugural workshop will take place on Saturday, November 17, from 9:30 am to 4:30 pm at The Counseling Group. Investment in yourself is $108, and 30% discounts will be extended to active members of iaedp and NASW.

Time to Celebrate Breast Cancer Awareness Month

Seven years ago this month, I was completing four months of bi-weekly, dose-dense chemotherapy for Stage II breast cancer and about to embark in seven weeks of radiation treatments. I am now cured and grateful to be alive. I was fortunate to have taken my family's history of breast and other cancers seriously, and began to monitor with mammograms prior to the age of 40. I was also blessed to have excellent health insurance so the burden of treatment was bearable without the added distress of financial ruin. Not all Americans are that lucky. I calculated that one year of treatment cost approximately $250,000 including all hospital bills, diagnostic tests, treatments and medications. Sadly, despite all the research, about 40,000 continue to die of breast cancer every year. Nevertheless, most women survive and never experience a recurrence. I hope to be one of those. To insure that, I do what is within my power: I don't drink alcohol, I don't smoke, I eat a healthy diet, and I exercise regularly. On the emotional side, I try to lead a balanced, stress-free life, forgive and let go of hurts, and exercise gratitude every day. Although I no longer run, I was proud to participate in a number of Susan G. Komen races. I no longer wear pink, mainly because I don't endorse the marketing craze. It just doesn't really seem that the money ends up in research. During Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I want to take this opportunity to thank my oncologist, Dr. Leonard Kalman of American Medical Specialties; my surgeon oncologist, Dr. Robert Derhagopian; their wonderful staffs; and the Cancer Support Community of Greater Miami for all their wonderful support programs offered at no cost to cancer survivors and their caregivers. When I was diagnosed, it did not come as a complete surprise. My mother had been diagnosed at the same age. But I was surprised because I felt I was the healthiest I had ever been. I had just finished running my fifth (and now last) marathon. I was training for and competing in sprint and international distance triathlons. I had not visited a doctor's office in at least five years. I maintained a healthy lifestyle and only visited an acupuncturist and a chiropractor periodically. In fact, I had to go to the FIU (I was in graduate school) women's clinic to get a check-up and a prescription for a mammogram. My bias toward alternative medicine caused me to worry about embarking in traditional Western treatment, but I knew this is what I had to do. I decided that my experience would be contingent on my attitude toward the people I encountered. My experience turned out to be wonderful. Everywhere I turned I met helpful, caring individuals who were concerned for my wellbeing. The journey through cancer turned out to be a blessed one, filled with insights, awakenings and spiritual growth. It is for that reason that I write this blog today. Today I celebrate life with gratitude to all those who helped me during those difficult months -- making me soup, bringing me books, giving me rides to chemotherapy and reading me poetry when all I could do was stare at the ceiling in a "chemo fog." Thank you all!

Raising Awareness About Weight Stigma

September 24 - 28 is Weight Stigma Awareness Week. Weight discrimination is spiriling upwards as fast as obesity rates. It "occurs in employment settings and daily interpersonal relationships virtually as often as race discrimination, and in some cases even more frequently than age or gender discrimination," researchers reported in a 2008 issue of the International Journal of Obesity. The negative effects of this form of bias, which is peppered with all sorts of misconceptions and misrepresentations on the causes of obesity, are painful at an individual and collective level. We fail to take responsibilities for the socio-economic and cultural causes of obesity, placing the blame solely on the individual. Ongoing reseaerch is discovering the detrimental impact that high fructose corn syrup in industrialized foods has on insulin and metabolism, body weight, and brain functioning. Yet packaged and processed foods are quite often cheapest and the only accessible foods to low income families. Let's stop discriminating against overweight and obese individuals and become consciously aware of our biases so we can take responsibility for effective changes in socio-economic and cultural influences. Let's recommit to end "fat talk" and reclaim our health through actions.

Alleviating Suffering, One Human Being at a Time

“I understood that centuries of chains and lashes will not kill the spirit of man nor the sense of truth within him.” --Ayn Rand. This is my experience in working with survivors of torture and ritual abuse. The spark of life, the determination to conquer, the conviction that to fully live is the best revenge, prevail against seemingly unbearable experiences. Last night I was inspired by the story of Mohammed, a refugee from Chad who survived imprisonment and torture for his political views, and of Dr. Miriam Potocky, whose grandparents were killed in Nazi gas chambers. I was honored to receive a Human Spirit Award for my humble contribution in providing pro-bono counseling services to survivors of torture through the Florida Center for Survivors of Torture. The FCST used the event to commemorate the United Nations International Day in Support of Victims of Torture. FCST director Kristen Guscovict reminded the audience that 400,000 survivors of torture live in the United States, which Mohammed described, in his native French language, as "the best country I've evern seen." The evening culminated with a performance of "Death and the Maiden," a play by Chilean playwright Ariel Dorfman which depicts the aftereffects of political torture and asks critical questions about what justice means. I leave you with Dr. Potocky's formula to help alleviate suffering and eradicate inhumanity: a) Advocate; b) Befriend a survivor, show kindness to help someone heal from the experience of man's inhumanity to man; c) Ask critical questions and don't turn a blind eye. And for that, I am responsible...

Florida Center for Survivors of Torture Offers Hope to Many Who Have Suffered Indignities

There are approximately 500,000 survivors of politically-motivated torture living in the United States, according to the U.S. Center for Victims of Torture. Torture means an act committed by a person acting under the color of law specifically intended to inflict severe physical or mental pain or suffering upon another person within his custody or physical control. These survivors come to the United States seeking asylum to escape the horrific abuse they suffered in their home countries, but they are often rendered ineffective by their symptoms to testify on their own behalf. Trauma's impact on a person's nervous system often causes extreme distress that impairs memory and the ability to express a cohesive story in words. I have been assisting the Florida Center for Survivors of Torture (FCST) to help their clients receive the care that they need so they can heal and become empowered to rebuild their lives. I have not done much, other than offer a few pro bono sessions, provide information about the effects of trauma, and encourage other psychotherapists to offer pro bono services when needed. I am honored that they have chosen to recognize my small efforts with a Human Spirit Award next month at an awareness-raising event to be held at Florida International University. This is an opportunity for me to also increase people's awareness about this problem, and the needs of this special category of refugees. I have worked with an African man who received electric shocks to his genitals during an unwarranted detention and interrogation; a young Eastern European man who was arrested, beaten and raped for being gay; a South American man who was kidnapped and held at gunpoint on his knees for hours simply to harass and frighten him into changing his political views. In 1998, the U.S. passed the Torture Victims Relief Act of 1998 (P.L. 105-320), which authorizes the Secretary of Health and Human Services (HHS) to provide grants to U.S. programs to cover the costs of services for the rehabilitation of victims of torture, including treatment of the physical and psychological effects of torture; provide social and legal services for victims of torture; and conduct research and training for health care providers outside of treatment centers. These programs are administered through the U.S. Department of HHS's Office of Refugee Resettlement. I urge you to learn more about this issue and donate money, time or services to the FCST by calling 305-805-5060. 

Happy Valentine's Day? It Can Be!

On February 14th, we celebrate love. From the Lupercalia fertility festivals in ancient Rome, to the 58 million pounds of Valentine's chocolate we consume today – we celebrate romance. And why shouldn’t we? According to Dr. Stan Tatkin’s new book, we are Wired for Love, neurobiologically designed to connect, pair up and bond to survive and thrive. Dr. Tatkin designed, teaches and researches a Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy® (PACT) that utilizes our understanding of how early attachment impacts brain and nervous system development and specific neuroendocrine pathways to interpersonal stress. Using PACT, a therapist attends to the “moment-to-moment variations and shifts in affect and arousal as observed in the face, body, and voice” in order to engage partners in behaviors that reduce the arousal and increase healthy bonding. Dr. Tatkin has also co-authored a book for professionals titled Love and War in Intimate Relationships, with Marion Solomon, another couple therapy luminary. Read Dr. Tatkin’s free downloadable Ten Commandments for Relationship Essentials and share them with your sweetheart this Valentine’s Day. If you want to take preventive measures to improve your romantic relationship, you also may want to pick up a copy of Wired for Love to understand how you and your partner’s brain and attachment styles can help you build a secure relationship.