For me, pondering these questions has led me on a quest for deeper meaning, and all roads lead to the same place: within. Last week I was in Northampton, Massachusetts at an intensive training in Dialectical Behavior Therapy, a third-wave behavior therapy grounded in a dialectical worldview and mindfulness practices. For several months, I have also been involved in self-reflection and yoga practices in the tradition of Rod Stryker's Para Yoga.
Whether in a professional development training or personal self-realization workshop, the roads are converging for me. This is a nice feeling, because I want to be authentic and transparent, regardless of the setting. I am aware that I am not a typical wine-drinking, Botox injecting, Ferragamo shoe-wearing, hair coloring "Miami girl." I have never injected Botox and I haven't had a drop of alcohol in almost 25 years. I will never pay $500 for a pair of shoes. I am a down-to-earth, Børn-wearing, quinoa-eating, yoga-practicing, cancer-surviving, gray-haired, (hopefully gracefully) aging woman in search for peace and enlightenment.
I was especially excited about the DBT worldview that DBT is therapy between equals. I might know some skills that I teach a client who is the expert in their own experience. I influence them and they influence me. They may engage in therapy-interfering behaviors, and so might I. We are engaged in a graceful dance. Does this approach mean I can bring more of my authentic self into the equation, and let people know that I also need to practice skills to suffer less? I hope so.
Working on Rod Stryker's "Four Desires" exercises, I have identified my Dharma, or life code, as embodying the Divine, expressing Divine ideas, writing and speaking words that inspire and change lives. I am here to heal, myself and others. I do this by attempting to see things with clarity, by nurturing my connection with Spirit daily, by trusting in the abundant love of God (as I understand God), by resting in a benevolent Universe, by releasing all attachments, by having the courage to be transparent. This is a lofty task, given my judgmental, opinionated, and self-righteous nature. But I am up for it.
Can I release self-judgment and become more real? Do I have the courage to walk through fear and reveal who I truly am? I want to. It might be helpful to me, and maybe to others as well.
